Travel writers have a game they play, going on about which destination is “the next Prague”. Rick Steves thinks it’s Krakow, or Ljubljana, or Budapest. Or perhaps even Dubrovnik, a city that’s been discovered already. A quick web search reveals others think it’s Phnom Phen, Kiev, or Buenos Aires. One random blog that I won’t name because I don’t want you to stop reading this article also says it’s Krakow, or Ljubljana, or Bratislava (!), or Lviv or Kamyanets-Podilsky, Ukraine.
Few cities have exploded onto the tourist scene as the hot, cool, new place to go the way Prague did. Sometime in the late 90s, everyone had to visit, and within five years half your friends and your Aunt Carol was there and were all astonished that you haven’t seen it yet. The city became an exemplary and everyone wanted to be the one to declare the next travel trendy place. “The Next Prague” moniker became a thing.
My first introduction to Prague (and I’m sure this is true for many people) was in the music video for the 1988 song “Never Tear Us Apart” by INXS. Watching Michael Hutchence clamor around this amazingly cool, obviously Euro city made me, and others, ask “Damn, where is this place?”
Well, yeah, the place is pretty. Go for the photography
One reason we need the next Prague is because Prague is not so Prague-like anymore. Saying Prague is too touristy is like saying that Paris is too touristy. There’s no use complaining about it and so what, are you not going to go? Any popular place is touristy. Prague is a stunningly beautiful city, which is the thing everyone says because it’s true, but people don’t visit it the way they visit Paris. Prague developed an aura–it was the first Eastern Euro, post-Iron Curtain city that hoi polloi discovered. Going there was safe but somehow edgy. Beer there cost nothing (as reported by your roommate). Then, the surest sign that Prague was a cheap party destination happened — the Brits started flying there to have their bachelor parties. (They’ve since moved on to Bratislava, and now to Riga, but you knew that.)
Prague became like some alternative college music that everyone now knows but still pretends that it’s an underground garage band. It’s like drinking Sam Adams beer and pretending it’s still a microbrewery. It remained as a newly-discovered destination for a shockingly long time. It’s still considered cool to go to Prague, and still somehow considered an alternative, non-mainstream destination. But Prague stopped being the Next Prague a while ago. Going to Prague now is like eating at Chipotle–it’s still good, but only edgy and alternative when compared to eating at McDonald’s.
Prague is now the sixth most-visited city in Europe, and the 19th most-visited in the world, with 5.47 million visitors (2015 figures from MasterCard, though statistics like this are always disputable). Look at a map–it’s not even very far away. It’s as west as one can get in Eastern Europe, farther west than Vienna.
Beer is still cheap in Prague (about 1.5 euro is the most you’ll pay for a half-liter), and the city itself, while not a bargain anymore, is still cheaper than Western Europe. This means the city in the summer is filled with partying visitors, all drinking Pilsner. It’s like going to Ibiza.
I finally went to Prague, with my wife. We visited five cities in the area on that trip, and Prague was by far our least-favorite (Budapest was the winner). Prague isn’t a big city, so there are a few places where everyone gathers. Number one is the Staroměstské náměstí center square, usually just called the “Old Town Square” in English because no one speaks Czech. The surrounding buildings are what you’ve always imagined an arcane, orphic kingdom to resemble. It would be a photographer’s dream, except that you’ll never get a clear shot of anything through the crowds. Better go in the very early morning with that tripod.
The cafes in the Old Town Square aren’t bad-looking, but the people will bring you down
The square is naturally full of restaurants and shops, and perhaps you should avoid every one of them. Foolishly, we flipped through one’s menu, a thick book. Oversize photos of each dish, descriptions in six languages. The square is lined with these joyous places, most merely overpriced instead of being crazy expensive. McDonalds and Starbucks are here as well to increase the Prague experience. Half the shops are outright labeled “souvenirs” in a daring display of honesty, and other others sell things that only visitors would buy. Certain types of jewelry, Russian nesting dolls, crystal things. Swarovski, Cartier, and such. The crowds are immense, and everyone is taking selfies. The “Astronomical Clock”, a mechanical clock on the side of one building, is a huge attraction here, putting on a tiny show once an hour, and it’s great fun watching everyone’s faces as they stare and say, “That’s it??”
This is your constant view of the Charles Bridge
The second gathering place is the Charles Bridge, rather famous. It’s a pedestrian bridge over the Vltava River, lined with huge statues, and would be quite nice except every visitor who’s not on the Old Town Square is here, and every vendor not selling on the square is here as well. In the very early morning light with the fog rolling in, a stroll here would be quite atmospheric, but you’ll probably see it in the afternoon when every damn caricature artist in Eastern Europe is setting up along here, along with other opportunists daring to call themselves “artists” selling their pictures of the bridge, the musicians playing for money, the souvenir vendors, and the tour groups all trying to stay together while their guide shouts commentary. The bridge is ten meters wide, but you’ll still find yourself pushing your way through, because of the crowds.
Charles Bridge again. Just push your way through to get to the “artists” and souvenir sellers
The third place is the castle on the hill, which is always just called “Prague Castle” in English, because no one speaks Czech, where you’ll wait for an hour in high season, be offered short or long tickets without an explanation of what’s the difference, and get the hard-sell on an audio tour, only to find out that there’s not much to see up there. The castle isn’t a castle; it’s more like a keep, a fortified place, but that inconvenient truth doesn’t stop it from billing itself as the largest castle in the world. The main attraction in the non-castle is the cathedral, of course it is, and beyond that, not much. The best thing about the castle hill is the views out over the city.
The castle hill is worth it for the view
As for food in Prague, just order a goulash, as we did, because no one speaks Czech food. Food isn’t the reason people visit; it’s the reason they move on to Vienna for a good meal. Czech food is meat and gravy and houskovy knedlik, the sponge-like bread dumplings. You can eat pork knuckle, roast pork, pork sausage, and maybe some slabs of beef in gravy. Have another beer, and then one more.
Besides the beer and the architecture, Prague has a reputation for unfriendly locals (I blame them not a bit), transit officials who issue random fines to tourists, restaurant bills padded with charges for bread by the slice and unasked-for appetizers, taxis that charge whatever they feel like, and pickpockets at the popular Astronomical Clock.
Ask anyone about their trip to Prague and they’ll all say the same thing. Beautiful city. Amazing buildings, architecture. And the beer. Then ask them, “Would you go back?” Few people fall in love with the place. I wouldn’t talk anyone out of a trip there. It’s worth going. But just don’t make it the focus of a trip. Go to Prague and take some great photos and drink the beer. But then move on, and go to the Next Prague.
