Tokyo's Robot Restaurant - For The Teen-Age Boy That Lurks In All Of Us

UPDATE – The Robot Restaurant in Tokyo has been a victim of the pandemic and of changing times.  The former version of it closed in 2023, and it sort of made a comeback as a daytime show, but not run by its former owners, and perhaps does not resemble its former self.  If I make it back there, I’ll update this story.

Also note that whatever the current version is now part of another establishment called Gira Gira Girls, in almost the same location in Kabuki-cho, which is an adult entertainment place that appears to be a cross between a hostess bar and a strip club.  En guard.  They stress that the current version of the Robot Restaurant (now called “Samurai Restaurant”) is not an adult show.  I have no idea of its content.

The original story I wrote about it is maintained below—-

All of you — remember when you were a teen-aged boy?   The Robot Restaurant in Tokyo remembers well what you were like.  You were obsessed with science fiction movies and lasers and lots of technology.  You thought giant robotic creatures were super cool.  Any alternative forms of locomotion would quicken your pulse, and you were just discovering thumping music.  You wanted girls, dancing around you, really cute ones with lots of curves and not much clothing, unless it was some anime-type battle armor that was still curvy and revealing.  You weren’t much into food.

Tokyo’s Robot Restaurant has all that, because apparently you never outgrow these things.  It’s a place where all your adolescent fantasies play out, three shows a night.  Complete with the mediocre food.

The Robot Restaurant may be the most over-the-top experience I’ve had.  It’s labeled a restaurant but don’t think of it that way–this is a theater for a show, with some food thrown in for some reason.  Guests sit along three staggered rows, like bleachers, on both sides of a long performance hall, small fixed tables in front of them resembling school desks.  The food is utterly forgettable, and really they should just drop it entirely.  No one would care.  You only have a choice of meat or fish, and they hand you a bento box in a process that resembles your meal on an airplane.  Sake or beer is available, at a good price, but they don’t even push it.  You’re here for the show.

The entertainment only lasts for a bit more than an hour, but you will leave shell-shocked.  It’s a full-on, high-energy assault of your stimulators.  It would appeal to many people, but it’s very Japanese.

The Robot Restaurant sits in the Shinjuku neighborhood of Tokyo, in an area known as Kabuki-cho, which is an entertainment district.  Some describe it as a red-light district because there are plenty of shady places, but don’t at all let that throw you off; the place is safe and awfully interesting.  I’ve written about Kabuki-cho before here, as it’s absolutely worth seeing.

The Robot Restaurant opened in July 2012 and has been since evolving.  It fits into the Kabuki-cho idea of living your fantasies.  Some sources say the place cost $11 million (US dollars) to build; others say $116 million, meaning a decimal place was moved somewhere.  The Wall Street Journal (just to pick on it) got it even more wrong when they reported it costs ten billion yen, then somehow converted that into 985 million US dollars.  Since it opened, the price has been raised four times, more seating installed (they started with only two rows) and more video screens along the walls, one source reporting 200 44-inch screens in use.  Beer used to be just sold in cans; now it’s on tap.  The price for the show started at ¥3000, went to ¥4000, then ¥5000 in in less than a year.  Then to ¥7000, and now to its current ¥8000.  (In US dollars, that’s around $30 at the start, to $80 now).  It’s getting expensive enough that people will start to ask whether it’s worth it.

The show is awfully hard to describe.  It’s full-on waves of assaulting your senses.  Music blares, the hundreds of TV screens flash, along with hundreds of other lights.  Robots scatter along the floor, not just androids but giant monsters.  Various vehicles rolls back and forth and about twenty gorgeous dancing girls perform, always in garish costumes, sometimes awfully skimpy.  Only a hint of any storyline exists.  The show proceeds in various acts, most seemingly designed by teen-age boys who kept throwing in more and more crowd-pleasing elements.  More lights.  More riding on things.  More random robots, just because.  All with the girls dancing around, smiling at you, lots of eye contact.  Most people’s reaction after the show is “I didn’t understand any of this, but wow.”

There’s a lounge to hang in beforehand, seemingly as over the top as the rest of the show.  Colorful LED lights everywhere, plush gold snail-shell seats.  No surface is unadorned.  I somehow missed this, simply being directed by the staff to walk down the stairs to the main theater area.  The stairwell, the entire thing, ceiling, steps, floors, and all walls, was covered in flashy décor.  The rococo of flashy.  Loud, showy, ornate, and in-your-face, just like Kabuki-cho itself.  It’s bright, colors everywhere, ornate patterns such as lizards and butterflies.  The lizards are molds fastened to the wall.  Dragons cover the floor.  This is by far the most interesting stairwell I’ve ever seen, and ever will see.  At the bottom, screens were playing clips of bikini-clad women shooting machine guns, every boy’s fantasy.

I had a great seat, front row, but there are only three small rows of seats anyway, staggered on each side.  There are no bad seats in the house.  Grab a drink and hit the loo before things start, as there’s no leaving your seat during the show.

The show started with drumming, involving about 12-15 girls, what would be by far the most normal of the acts.  The girls standing in front of me each wore a long blonde wig, white bikini-like tops, and billowy see-through pantaloons over bikini-like bottoms.   They then climbed onto what could only be described as small parade floats, each containing space for about four girls and holding large taiko drums (or wadaiko drums).  The music started, the girls shouted a few times, and started drumming.  The floats started moving around the room, turning, and then the girls were above my head.

The monsters come out for the next act.  Something like a giant lizard, with a few girls riding on top.  A second monster came from the other side and I guess they fought.  The fog effects made it hard to tell.  Our monster turned and swatted its tail, which went between the seats a few people away.  I turned to the Japanese guy next to me, who was loving this.  I gave him a thumbs-up.  He agreed completely.

After this, every act was a procession of girls and vehicles and some robots.  Every girl’s enthusiasm seemed immense and their attitude continually joyous.  They weren’t reserved about interacting with us, and near-posed when anyone held up their camera.  They all acted like they were having a blast.  Every photo I have is of someone smiling, sometimes beaming.

More vehicles came out, people sitting inside vertical wheels.  More robots came out, a few resembling droids with android top halves and R2-D2 bottom halves.  One guy in an android robot costume with a rainbow-striped afro wig.  A giant metal android on a metal stand, playing a keyboard.  A few other Star Wars-type of droids.  The lead dancer was riding on the metal stand, wearing a sequined bikini and waving a light stick to the audience, looking spectacular.  Following behind were a droids shaped somewhat like dogs, but on wheels.

The robots got scarier.  Several big, silver ones paraded out, looking somewhat like cylons from Battlestar Galactica, the new type.  They stood in the center, and I expected them to start firing at us at any second.  Green laser beams panned the floor.  The pointy gold girls came back out.  More dancing!  In front of the robots!  The dancers barely had any down time.  There was nothing slow.

Intermission halfway through.  The cylon robots stayed on the floor, and we all could get up to take photos with them.  The robot was about two feet taller and wider than me, but it had blue eyes and a video screen in its chest, modifying the scary factor a bit.  Still, if you saw this thing coming down a hallway after you, you’d book.

The show then goes on, with the staff passing out light sticks to everyone that we waved throughout the remainder, somewhat like a miniature light saber.  The girl emcee is talking up a storm, encouraging us to yell, cheer, wave.  I guess.  Mostly, we do.  We’re all having a blast.

After that comes the tank, perhaps the most memorable vehicle of the show.  It has a gun turret and all, but smaller, lower, and featuring tons of lights.  Light strips all around, small dotted lights all over the top.  Lights!  It’s hard to describe why a fake tank covered with lights and dancing girls is entertaining, but on one level it’s obvious.  The girls are honeys, their attitude is infectious, and there are lasers, videos, and music going off, with the audience shaking light sticks at it all.  Just live in the moment with this.

At the very end, the girls lined up and the emcee girl said a few things.  No photo session.  The girls are gone and they’re not coming back.  A sign was wheeled out immediately to the floor, telling us in several languages the show is over, the next people needed to be seated.  The message ended with an all-caps (really) command:  “PLEASE LEAVE NOW”.  A bit of a downer–that’s no way to end a show.

When the Robot Restaurant first opened, it catered to Japanese tastes, perhaps going for otaku – the male manga-obsessed segment of the population.  Perhaps the jaded salaryman.  The owners were then supposedly amazed that Western people started coming.  The themes of each act in the robot show were very Japanese, in that they borrowed from outside cultures and turned them inside out.  Despite the girls, what gets the attention in all the reviews is the robots.  Robotics is a big subject in Japan.  So is monsters.  I remember watching, as a child, old Japanese shows featuring giant robots coming to save the day.  They fought monsters.  These days your fellow customers at the show will probably be mostly foreigners.

There is little use pretending that she’s not a large part of the draw

As you can well see in the photos, a large draw of the show is the girls.  They aren’t just to draw in the guys.  The idea for the restaurant was first conceived by the show’s lead dancer, and she wanted to show not just sexy but also strong women fighting and controlling the robots.  When the restaurant opened in 2012, the sex appeal was a huge part of the draw, and since then they seem to be toning it down.  Recent reports are that the amount of cleavage, and overall skin, is less.  Still, the dancers are clearly chosen for their looks and their curves, both qualities well above average.  The show is awfully sexy, but it was never just sexual.

Despite some reports I read saying that this place is becoming less Japanese as it becomes more popular, its basis is still a very Japanese idea.  The concept of quirkiness in Japan is different, more weird to Western eyes.  The over-the-top experience and the journey are more important than arriving at any destination, which may be why Japanese pay oodles of money at hostess bars without any hope of fulfillment, something Americans would never do.  The Japanese pay for a café where the waitresses are dressed in French maid outfits, and who will sing a song over their tea to make it taste better.  There’s a playfulness involved in many sensual aspects.

Practicalities:  There are three or four shows a night, at set times of course.  You need a reservation.  The best way to reserve is to call them.  I found myself walking right in front of the place one evening and when I asked about making a reservation, the guy said to call.  Apparently making a reservation at the restaurant itself is silly.  Not having a cell phone on me didn’t stop him; he whipped a flip phone out of his back pocket and dialed, handing it to me, and I talked to someone and make my reservation.

Reserve your tickets as early as you can.  Several people have reported their hotel concierge (different ones) got them 2-for-1 tickets.  Here’s one blog post listing ways to get discounts.  Other discounts are online; just google them.  Some people now report that the meal is now optional, an additional charge, which you should skip.  Get there at least 30 minutes early to check out the lounge.  Bring a camera that does well in low light.

Also, since you’re in Tokyo, you should check out my writeup of Piss Alley, a wonderful place to eat and drink.

If you want a real robot restaurant, one where you are served by robots, head over to this place in China.

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