The bar is one of the great inventions of Western civilization, bringing people together to socialize, flirt, tell bad jokes, and occasionally fight. Eskimos don’t really have fifty words for snow, but English probably has fifty words for a drinking place. Bar, pub, tavern, saloon, cocktail lounge, watering hole, taproom, just to start. We also have fifty words for booze, and for being rather tipsy, and perhaps fifty words for a bar fight. (My family came from Ireland, so we might have more than you).
The cultural importation of the bar to the rest of the world is a bit spotty. I’m a veteran of bars all over the world, as many travelers are, and my, they can be awfully different. A bar in a foreign country lets you meet people and take the pulse of the area, with a side benefit of making the jet lag that much worse.
I just took my twentieth trip to East Asia, last month as I write this, and I’ve hit bars in every country visited. The Asians do bars somewhat differently. Hong Kong is the only city, no doubt because of its British heritage, where a bar operates pretty much the same as in the West. Japan, to some extent, also has Western-style bars and any tourist-heavy places like Bangkok or Bali will have some. Generalizing in a list like this is dangerous, but in the rest of East Asia, the bar may look familiar, but things work a bit differently. Let me run it down for you.
1. They are for nighttime entertainment, not day-time and perhaps not even happy hour. People don’t go there until after dinner. You want a cocktail before dinner, the place might be open, but dead. You want an afternoon beer or to do some serious day-drinking, you might be out of luck.
Bar opening times are a mystery. I’ve seen popular bars closed tight on Thursday nights, only to open around 10:00 p.m.
2. They take service seriously. They bring your beer to you at your table, or to where you’re standing. You don’t go up to the bar and hang there to get something. Even just ordering a beer gets you a setup, always with a glass, some napkins, and often with ice.
Service will be formal, but not necessarily attentive. You may have to wave them down to get something else, but don’t be shy; they don’t mind.
Your drink will look awfully good. You might spend time staring at it.
3. Actually, you might not hang at the bar at all. Most places don’t have much of a bar area and if they do, it may be only for show. Pick a table, even if you’re solo. A hostess may greet you and inquire about your seat preference. Let her.
Think of the place as a cocktail lounge, not a watering hole. Many places I’ve bellied up to the bar only to have the staff behind it look at me with apprehension. The people behind the bar will signal to the waitstaff, who will come over from the front of the bar to take my order. “Did you perhaps want something, by sitting here? Oh, a drink? Er, okay,” is their attitude, uncertain how to deal with me. No one else sat there; the bar counter was just for show.
If you’re at a table, it’s table service. It won’t be like some Western bars where you walk up to the bar to get something and bring it back to your table yourself. Flag down a roaming server instead. Try to get the same server for successive orders. Don’t assume that anyone in the place can take your order.
In many places, especially hotel bars, the staff is so formal as to make you uncomfortable. The only thing to do is go with it, just act like the important and sophisticated customer they wish you were. Don’t wave off their efforts. These people are pros, and they appreciate a pro customer. Don’t do a thing for yourself.
4. Mixed drinks are valued for their specialness. The very act of getting a mixed drink makes the occasion special, and that’s all there is to it. Notice the large number of local Asians getting a mixed drink, just one, and hanging out all evening with that. They don’t come here to pound drinks. Even getting just one is enough to make the evening special, and that’s all they need.
5. The menu, and bars always have a menu, may feature a wild, fancy list of drinks. Besides the canon, there will be many you’ve seen before, and perhaps few that will make sense. These bars make up their own list.
The Vida Rica bar in Macau has, just as examples “The Ruins of St. Paul”, made with gin, chamomile tea, lemongrass, lychee juice, sesame cordial, cinnamon syrup, squeeze of lemon, and fresh mint. Or how about the “American Dream”, bourbon infused with popcorn, chocolate syrup, Frangelico, vanilla ice cream, and chocolate bitters. Other drink titles: Hipster breakfast, Salsa with me, Guacamole sour, Nutty Professor, Legend of Kremlin.
At a bar in Hong Kong, I noticed a drink list starting with a Long Island iced tea, and continued with Rhode Island, Coney Island, Red Island, Purple Island, and Yellowish Island. I love how it wasn’t just “Yellow Island” but “Yellowish”, as if they weren’t quite sure. They also had a John Collins (Tom Collins’ brother?), and several other drinks no one knows, like “Look for Star”, “Nothing”, and “Star Track” (sic).
The serious or the sophisticated Asian drinkers tend towards whiskey, which means there may be a list of 100 of them on your drink menu, from all over the world.
Really, your drink will look damn good
6. In anything above an average-priced bar, and perhaps even in the mid-levels, your mixed drink will be beautiful. In the nicer hotel bars, it will be a work of art. There is no chance your server will merely pull out a highball glass and splash some clear liquids around. Oh no. Your glass will be special, and there will be colors involved, and most likely garnishes. My simple gin & tonic in Vida Rica, above, came with two orange peel slices cut into wavy patterns, and a slice of green apple.
One night in Taiwan, about eight of us, all Taiwanese except me, went to a bar. It took forever for the group to decide on their drinks, and forever and a day for the one bartender to make all them, so special were they. It took over half an hour to get my drink.
In lower-prices bars, any mixed drink besides the very simple ones will take time and may be rather less than perfect, but in the upper-class bars, there is zero chance your drink will suck. No chance it will be sloppily-made. I’ve been quizzed by the barstaff on what type of tonic water I want used for my G&T, in flavors such as elderberry. They are paying attention.
Your entertainment may be a just few people up front on a karaoke machine (very bad photo quality, sorry)
7. In the average bar, most every drink is around the same price. Don’t think you’re saving much money drinking the local beer instead of having that Manhattan cocktail you want. Go for the cocktail. In an upscale hotel bar, yes, there are price differences, but it’s still not as much as a bar in the West.
Wine is always a bad value in an Asian bar, even in places like Macau that are awfully familiar with wine. It’s like in the United States, where I live. Except for specific wine bars, you just don’t order wine in a bar. They treat it with an undue reverence and charge you a ridiculous amount. A bar in Macau was charging $12 US for a glass of vinho verde, where a full bottle in a store would be less than half that.
There’s almost no tipping in East Asia. Even very Western cities like Hong Kong don’t expect it. If you want to tip, don’t just leave money on the table. Hand it to them personally, preferably on the tray they used to present you with your bill, and make like it’s a distinctive act, not just something automatic.
In both cheaper cities such as Bangkok and in more expensive cities like Macau, a good mixed drink in a nice place can be the same price, perhaps about $15 US. But that’s by no means unreasonable in a nice place, and the drink will always, 100% always, be good quality with top ingredients. Throw in the snacks and especially throw in the service, and it’s a small price to pay for feeling like a VIP.
8. People don’t go alone to bars, to sit and broad or to write in a notebook, working on their novel. They go in a group and they largely stay in their group. You the traveler may be introduced and perhaps even pulled in, but don’t be surprised if the opposite happens.
9. You probably won’t get much pressure to order another drink. It’s more like a French café, where you can order one drink and hang for hours. In some bars, you’re expected to pay as soon as you get your drink, even if you’re planning on several rounds. Don’t fight this system; it means no mistakes on the bill. They can’t overcharge you if you are paying for each round at the time.
You want your cover band to look something like this, with real instruments
10. A cover band is de rigueur at many places. They have almost all been Filipinos, because Filipinos are brilliant at cover bands, but lately the Indonesians are giving them competition. You’re more than savvy enough to tell a real band from a canonical cover band, so seek them out.
In cheaper bars, the live entertainment can be just a few people standing up front singing along to a karaoke machine, not really a band. They are sometimes hilarious in their ridiculousness, so bad they’re good. Sure you can request a song, but if the machine doesn’t have it, they can’t sing it.
Come back tomorrow night and the entertainment is likely to be exactly the same.
11. Don’t expect the bathroom to be very clean. For the men’s room, don’t expect it to be very private. Often, females walking to the ladies’ room will be treated to a wide-open view of the guys standing at their urinals
12. If the bar has a television, there’s no sport talk highlights show on. It’s either playing some drama series or sports, and the sport is usually football, that game Americans call soccer. The American NBA is getting more popular worldwide for some reason, and some countries like Japan are mad for baseball.
The football game may local, but very often it’s just something from the English Premier League.
If your cover band looks like this, in a near-empty place, en guard
13. In the U.S.A, Hard Rock Cafés are only for the tourists, and to a lesser extent, that holds for Europe as well. In Asia, the Hard Rock and other chains are often the coolest places in town. I’ve been to Hard Rocks in places like Jakarta and Macau, and not to sound obvious, but they’re rocking. They have killer bands playing and super-professional bartenders. You still wouldn’t want to eat there, but you figured that.
There are more chains that I wouldn’t touch in the States, but where I hang out in Asia, as they are totally different. In places like Manila and Kuala Lumpur, you might find me at the bar of TGIFriday’s or the Outback Steakhouse, simply because those places are happening.
14. Bars in Southeast Asia, especially Indonesia and Malaysia, have beer girls that work the bars. You’ll walk in and see a young woman wearing a dress in the pattern of a beer label. The entire dress will have the pattern, rather salient. Her job is to sell that beer. She may be representing the local beer Bintang, and she might come over and ask you if you want one. Or, wave her over to order one. If you don’t want Bintang, you must scheme to avoid her catching your eye, or hopefully even noticing you.
I’ve been in many bars having several beer girls, each for a different beer. There, you must decide quickly and grab the beer girl of choice before the others get to you, to avoid turning them down. It’s considered bad form to switch beer girls in the course of one visit, so decide quickly at the beginning which one you’re hanging with.
What’s a drink without a nosh?
15. Finally: snacks. I love this. Most bars will give you a little plate of snacks, perhaps just nuts, with your beverage, and the better bars will give you perhaps three small dishes. Even Asian bars in the USA often give me a little snack. It’s usually something salty, but really, it could be anything. Spiced cashews, slices of sausage, shrimp chips, gummi bears, and chocolate raisins have all been served to me. Before complaining about your $8 beer, consider what you’re getting with it.
Getting gummi bears with my beer is one of the many reasons I love East Asia. There should be no surprises if the wild, creative Asian style drinks overtake the world, and if service makes a comeback in the West because of the East. I’ve been in super high-class places in East Asia that are no more expensive than mere upper-middle-class places in the West, but would be a sensation if they were dropped there. The Asians are already doing bakeries better than us; soon they’ll smash us in bars. I suppose eventually they’ll master brunch as well.
